Friday, December 2, 2011

My Birthday Present to Myself

My 28th birthday is just over two months away (February 6th, if anyone cares to write it down) and I have decided what I am giving myself as a gift - my health. I don't consider myself to be unhealthy in weight or in lifestyle, but there is always room for improvement.

When I look back over the last ten years of my life I am astonished at how I have been on extreme opposite ends of the spectrum in so many areas of my life, but most notably in the health of my relationships, my physical, emotional and spiritual health. Interestingly enough, I can't pinpoint any one time in which I was on the extreme healthy or positive end of the spectrum in more than one or two of these areas at one time. It seems to take all of my being to excel in any one area and to attempt to tackle them all at one time would be incredibly trying. And yet to attain health and exude positive energy in all of these areas would be heavenly. So here I am.

I'm on this quest for a few reasons. One, because I think it would be awesome to be an all around healthy person. And two because I believe it's what God wants for me. He didn't design me to hold down a couch cushion or sit in front of a computer looking at all the great things everyone else in the world is doing. He has a purpose and a plan for me and I am certain that a part of that is for me to be as healthy as I can be.

Relationships 
I don't live anywhere near any relatives and although I do make efforts to call every so often, I'd like to write more, send more pictures, and be more invested in their daily lives in a way that Facebook doesn't allow.

I have always been blessed to have wonderful girl friends, but never more so than now. I have so many strong, intelligent, beautiful, and loving friends in my life that I don't feel that I give nearly as much to any of them as they give to me. In the next two months, I would like to make a point to find a way to reach out to each and every one of them to make sure that they know how special they are to me and how much I value them as women, wives, mothers, and as my friend.

My husband. Wow. I am amazed by him everyday and I am so grateful that God brought us together. We have such an amazing story and the parts of it that we will tell our children makes me so proud. He puts up with so much from me that I don't even know where to start. I spent the last year while he was in Iraq working on having a softer tongue and more of a servant's heart towards him, but it seemed as though the moment he stepped into "my" house and upset "my" routine all of that work went straight out the window. Everyday is a blessing and an opportunity to give him more, to love him more, and to encourage him more. I want to do more for him to show him how special he is to me.

My daughter is the light of my life. Some days I want dozens of children and others I am so in awe of my love for her that I am hesitant to share that with anyone else. I need to be more patient with her, give her more undivided attention, and engage in more active play with her.

My dog. I know this sounds silly, but I really do need to work on being a better caretaker to him. He needs walks, and Lord knows I do too. He needs affection and attention as much as any of us. I need to work on acknowledging him more than just when I am scolding him.

    Physical Health
    This is the area of my life that I have the hardest time finding a healthy middle ground in. The times in my life I have been at my physically fittest have tended to be the times that I am least healthy mentally, primarily because I use exercise as an escape. I guess there's some truth to being happy and fat, but I'd much rather be happy and healthy. I have about 15-20 pounds that I need to lose to put me back into a "healthy" weight and BMI range. I should lose two pounds a week putting me right at my goal weight on my birthday.

    I will stop eating while I am cooking! I will keep a bowl of veggies on the counter for me to eat if I must.Learn to be okay with throwing away toddler scraps. This one is going to be hard for me because I hate to waste.

    I am keeping a food diary and attempting to count calories. I started doing this yesterday and it's harder than you'd think when you make most everything from scratch. There are some really neat recipe analyzers online that I might eventually utilize for the things I make and eat most frequently, but for now I'm just estimating and paying closer attention to portion sizes. I am aiming for 1500 calories a day, which should put me on target to be at my goal weight by my birthday.

    I will exercise regularly and in a realistic way. I will workout every other day using one of the 30-minute exercise videos I have. On the off days I will walk the dog when weather allows and make more of an effort to play games with Abby that require physical activity.
      Emotional Health
      Right now I am in a really good place emotionally. I can talk openly with most everyone in my life about my feelings. I do feel tired, but that's not really an emotion as much as it is a symptom of motherhood. I feel pretty level and when I do get a little off kilter it's nothing a glass of cheap red wine can't fix.

      Spiritual Health
      I am not plugged into a church. I don't read my Bible everyday. I don't pray as deeply as I'd like to. I don't give or serve as much as I feel called to. I feel like the Holy Spirit is saying "Go and Do" but my feet are cemented to the ground. I have felt a call to the mission field - to Mexico, to Romania, to Africa to anywhere that children need love. I want to go and do everything in my power to show them love and share with them the way my God loves me. I am lukewarm and I'm ignoring the Holy Spirit and it makes me sick.   

      There is a lot about being an obedient wife and my husband being the spiritual leader that ties into all of this, but the truth is that I am responsible for my own soul. I will be the one looking at Almighty God on His throne someday and I will be the one who has to answer when He says, "my child, why did you not go when I told you to go?"

      I know that if I get things right with God that everything else will fall into place. I don't have a plan for this area because it just doesn't feel right to have one. I am reading my Bible more, but I need to carve out a regular time and place for God and me to just chat.

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